Museletter #2 - The Importance of a Daily Creative Practice

July 25 2017

(Date of Original Museletter)

I want to share with you today about the importance of a daily creative practice.

Some of you know that I have been struggling with writing my story for three years now. There are two ways that I tend to look at it. Well, there are more ways than that, but I want to focus on the main two ways. One way is to see my project as a struggle. To focus on the idea that I am not writing more than I am writing. To focus on the fear, the sense of inadequacy, and the attachment I have to how the book will turn out, to how it will be received. Will I find a publisher? Will I be able to reach thousands or even millions of readers? How will I ever figure out to tell a story that I am still living? How will I survive revealing myself in such a raw way? What makes me think I have the right to share my story when so many others do not? These are the questions that the critic is ready to shove into the spaces created by self-doubt.

The other way I look at it, is this: to focus, instead, on the work. To trust the process, and have faith in the mystery of creativity and to just show up every day for myself in the practice.

Here is the bad news: there is no shortcut to the work. There is no special pill, coach, method or system that will make the work happen. There really is only one way to get something done, and there is no way around it. The work is the hard part. The work is the un-glamorous part. The work is the part where you have to excuse yourself from dinner parties and shut yourself in your room even when everyone else is going to the beach. The work is the part where you blindly believe in yourself, or what you are doing even if you have no idea where you are going or how you are going to get there. The work is about living in uncertainty and putting your focus on the task. The work is about showing up for yourself every day. Even if you show up for just 15 minutes. Even if you didn’t do anything good for that 15 minutes. Even if you don’t feel inspired. Even if you feel depressed or tired. Even if you hate your project that day. Even if your critic says you aren’t a real artist/writer/musician/fill in the blank. Even if you feel lost. Even if you’d suddenly, for some reason, after months of ignoring it, suddenly desperately want to tackle organizing your kitchen shelves.

Here is the good news: I give you permission to let your kitchen stay messy for 15 minutes longer. (Or in my case: 15 weeks longer).

I have a simple mantra that I use to help me remember how to return to work:

To get to work, get into the work.

This mantra heads us back into the process, the actual doing. I have found that even if I am resisting working on a project, the pressure is relieved when we let the work become a practice.

For example, last month, as I found myself having more free time, I felt this enormous pressure to return to writing my book, but I was terrified, and out of practice. I felt lost and daunted by the task. I decided to what I usually do: I committed to writing everyday for 15 minutes for the month of June, but at first that commitment still had a lot of pressure around it. I still waffled and wondered with all the questions. But then as I kept up my daily writing practice, I realized the exercise was more about getting me back into writing. It was a warm up exercise. It was an oiling the machine exercise. Sometimes I wrote 15 minutes of boring free associative writing. Sometimes I wrote a whole poem. Sometimes I wrote memories from my life to add to my book. Sometimes I made lists of essay ideas. Sometimes I wrote down all my fears. The point is that I had to just keep going, no matter how I felt. No matter what came out. I had taken the pressure off of how good it had to be, or even what I wrote about. All that mattered was that I did it. And after one month of practicing (nearly) every day (I missed 2 days of my practice, and I forgave myself and then just returned to the practice the next day), writing has become easier again. My thoughts are flowing. My ability to communicate (across the board) has increased. Instead of my true self being trapped inside a small box, which is how I often feel in the world. My true self is knocking at my door every morning, and can't wait to be let out. I actually look forward to writing now. And I often stay for longer than 15 minutes. Much longer. I am more compassionate. More awake to the necessity of my creative self. My book now feels possible, even if there is still so much uncertainty. I am learning to live with it, and write anyway.

Even if your main thing is not writing, I highly recommend a 15 minute writing practice as therapy, or as a way to connect with your creativity. Or, if writing really is not your thing, then I recommend committing to a 15 minute daily practice of doing anything creative, as a warm up, as a way to get you out of perfectionism and the endless reasons why you can’t create.

In other words, if you feel stuck with your creativity, with your paintings, your book, your songs, your dance, your films, your sculptures, then paint, write, sing, dance, video and sculpt your way back into your work. Do not attempt to think your way back in, as I can tell you, it doesn't work. Your mind will always come up with more reasons not to work.

I am so excited to share with you that this summer, in addition to writing my book, recording my songs, and organizing my house, I am developing my first online creativity course. Jumpstart Your Creativity in 30 Days, September 2017. The backbone of the course will be committing to a daily creative practice. There will also be downloadable meditations, creativity coaching exercises, art therapy & art journaling assignments. Additionally, there will be a Facebook community, email support, daily prompts, encouragement and feedback from me. I will also be offering my individual coaching services for additional support. I cannot wait to share it all with you, and to live out one of my missions: to help others make their art & be true to their creativity. Pricing & Details will be available soon.

What are your creative commitments and practices? What is holding you back?

Write me an email and share with me your story, your dreams, projects & struggles.

Love & Creativity,

Zoë

The 2019 January Art Journaling/Blogging Challenge is Here!

Join me on Tuesday, January 1st 2019 for my third January Art Journal Challenge!

I am thrilled to be offering my Third January Art Journal Challenge. This creative challenge combines Art Journaling and Blogging. Meaning, if you choose to join this challenge, you can pick one of these daily practices, or both—alternating between the two, however you feel inclined to do it. In some cases your art journaling practice might become a digitized blog post. 

If you do not have a blog, but have always wanted to start one, this is a great opportunity for you to get your blog jump started. In fact, this challenge was inspired by my first blogging project, ZOELAB 365, where I committed to blogging every day for a year in order to lift myself out of postpartum depression. And let me tell you, it worked. That year was the most creatively fulfilling of my life, and planted the seeds for the many inspiring projects I am now doing out in the world.

This year, I am offering the challenge as a pay to play. For only $1 A Day, $31 in total, you will receive:

1) Access to the private Facebook Group only for the Challenge Participants

2) Daily journal/blog prompts or creative assignments designed to help deepen your connection to your intuition & creative flow

3) Daily inspiration

4) Daily Support from Zoë - you will get feedback from your posts, answers to your questions and other forms of guidance

5) Support form the community of people also doing this challenge

6) A chance to win a free 90 minute coaching discovery session with Zoë! For all who complete the challenge, send Zoë an email by February 2 stating that you completed all 31 days of the challenge. The winner will be chosen at random on February 3rd.

How does the 31 Day Art Journal Challenge work?

1) Sign up here. It’s $31 for the month of January.

2) Once you have signed up, you will receive an email from me with a link to the private Facebook Group.

3) Starting on January 1st, 2019! You will receive a prompt and/or creative assignment every day in the Facebook Group. If you are not a Facebook user, you can still do the challenge. The prompts & assignments can be emailed to you. However, you will not be able to participate in the group experience or receive feedback.

4) Complete the prompts either in your journal or on your computer (if you are blogging) or alternate between the digital and analogue. I recommend an 8.5 x 11 blank journal. You can order a journal like the one you see on the right, here. Use whatever supplies appeal to you. For some prompts certain supplies may be suggested.

5) Another exciting option is that you can participate in the Sketchbook Project at the Brooklyn Art Library in conjunction with this challenge. Sign up for the Sketchbook Project by January 9th, by buying a sketch book from them, which you can complete as part of this challenge. After you are done, mail your filled sketchbook for them to keep in their library, which features the largest collection of sketchbooks in the world!

5) Feel free to post your art journal pages, blog posts (from the challenge), questions, process, or anything that relates the topic of art journaling and blogging in the Facebook group. That is your space to connect with others as well as with me.

6) If you enjoy posting your pages on social media, please use the hashtag: #31dayjournalblogchallengejan19

I imagine everyone's reasons for joining this challenge will be varied. It may be because you want to get back into your writing and/or your art again in a daily way. You may just be to learn about art journaling. For some, it may be an opportunity to have a quiet moment to connect with yourself. And for others, it might a wild time to experiment, with no goal other than to unleash your creativity. And for all of us, hopefully, it is simply a way to practice and increase self connection and love! You may discover some new reasons along the way.

For me, this year's challenge is about three things:

1) To promote the inspiring, creative & healthy practice of art journaling and blogging

2) To build online community through creativity and authentic connection

3) To promote the practice of self connection

What is art journaling?

Art Journaling is a process that combines visual art (drawing, painting, collage, or photography) and words. Art Journaling can consist of intimate journal entries, poetry, doodling, hand lettering, free associative writing, list-making, goal-setting and planning. Putting those two aspects of our experience together on the same page: visual and verbal is the common ground for all art journaling.

My version of art journaling is unique in that it combines techniques, theories, and assignments from my work as an expressive arts therapist and creativity coach. For the past six years, I have been teaching Art Journal Lab, a class that combines these techniques, in Todos Santos, Mexico, near where I live. I teach people the tools, philosophy and basic skills they need to interact with the different parts of self, which I refer to as the inner family of self. I create a structure that makes it possible to connect to the invisible parts that we feel, but don’t always acknowledge or express.

You do not have to be a trained artist or serious writer to do art journaling. Anyone who can pick up a pen or pencil and has a blank book can do art journaling. There are no special supplies that are necessary, though I will be sharing some of my favorite tools during the challenge. One of my life's missions is to show how everyone is creative, and that the arts were meant to be used by all of humanity as a tool to discover the soul, and to engage in life in a more balanced, compassionate way. Through our engagement with the arts, we are able to make space for expressing the darkness, the unconscious parts of the Self, instead of acting those parts out on others. It is particularly this, this engagement with the shadow (the parts of us we do not see or do now want to see, or feel) that is the creative gold of this work. When we have the courage to bring our light of consciousness to our own shadow, we are able to unearth our previously buried psychic energy so we can make use of even our darkest pain.

What is blogging?

As many of us know, the reasons and ways to blog can vary greatly. It can be a tool to promote business, a way to keep track of your travels or other kinds of adventures, or a way to promote and share your creative work, political ideas, or simply to connect with your inner life. Whether it is for your business, for personal, or political expression, I believe a successful blog always stems from personal truth. If your business or your politics has no degree of personal connection for you, then perhaps you already have a great topic to or journal or blog about why this is so.

The most difficult and most important part of what it means to blog, or even journal, is that it is regular. It is also, as many bloggers will attest, the key to success. (Success = getting readers to read your blog.) From my experiences with daily practices, which is something I promote in my art journal lab class, as well as personally, I have come to believe in the amazing power of creating a daily practice, especially something that helps you connect with yourself, with the invisible world, feelings and other parts of us that we usually work hard to avoid, push down or unconsciously act out on others. These types of inward-directed daily practices keep us holistically healthy because they keep us connected to something true and deep in us.  These kinds of daily practices have helped me out depression, anxiety, a sense of loss, relationship issues, and more. They have helped me enormously with my creativity as an artist and as a mom and human being—when you do something daily, it forces you to be more creative with it—otherwise you get bored. We tend to look for new ways, new approaches when we know we have to do it everyday. 

So, use the term blogging however you feel connected to it—my definition is as follows:

To share words and images (hopefully self-generated) online about any topic, as long as it has has meaning or importance to you personally. One additional other feature: it must be dated for it to be a blog post, otherwise it is just a webpage. The date makes it time-connected, and therefore, applicable to a certain moment of time for you. This is the same for art journaling.

I love blogging because it delivers a sense of immediacy that appeals to the performer in me. Blogging is a digital performance—the act of baring a personal truth, an art piece, or just a slice of life, with others, sometimes strangers, sometimes not, brings me a certain thrill. If it doesn’t feel thrilling, a tiny bit risky, I usually don’t blog about it. For each of us the thrill will come for different reasons, in different areas. What is risky for me may not feel risky for you. And so it is very much up to you to come up with your own topics to write about. A blog post can be very simple or complex. There is no rule in this department. A blog post might simply be sharing a photograph you took that day and sharing a little caption or small story or sentence that explains it. Other times a blog post might be a highly informative piece that is designed to help and/or inside others learn a specific skill (EG: this post you are reading now.) Some blog posts have taken me 15 minutes to create, others have taken many hours. Neither is better than the other—the beauty of blogging is that it keeps going. We can’t get to hung up on our last blog post, because we are already thinking about our next one! This represents the natural flow of life. We cannot afford to get perfectionistic about our daily practices, they are designed for us to make mistakes, and to learn and grow from them, that is why they are practices. If you think of your blog or your art journaling as a practice and it will help you let go of the inner critic.

The reasons I host creative challenges it to help connect people to their creativity, passion and personal truth. Doing something every day creates a new habit that is affirming and helps you grow--expanding your sense of authentic self that you bring into the world. It is most certainly a challenge to do something everyday with out fail. But it is also very rewarding, and the sense of accomplishment from completing a whole month with a daily creative practice is a real thrill.

I can't wait to see what it might do for you!

Love & Creativity,

Zoë

How To Paint A Mural

This summer, a man named Carlos Gutierrez decided to organize a mural project in the park across from the school in Pescadero and invited the Baja 100 Artists to participate. His mission is to bring Pescadero more vitality and attention to this little Mexican town, 15 minutes away from the much more famous Todos Santos. I immediately said yes with out knowing what I would do or how I would do it. Then I panicked. What would I do? How would I do it?

Elias Calles Kinder Mural Project 2014

I do have some previous experience with murals. The first was when I organized the students of the kinder in my town of Elias Calles (less than 100 people) to create a kinder-garden themed mural. Kids as plants, flowers and trees. I did that with out having ever put paint to a wall, in Spanish. It took us a whole school year to do it. It all started in 2014, when Hurricane Odile blew the roof off the outdoor classroom. I had already been volunteering art classes with the kids, and I decided it was time to get the mural project that I had been dreaming of off the ground. It took a category 4 hurricane to stir up my courage. I decided to create a bilingual public storytelling event, Mariposa Night, in Todos Santos, where people would share their stories of the storm, and we would also raise money to fix the school. We didn’t raise enough money to fix the roof, but we did raise enough money to paint the inside and outside of the bodega, which would became their new classroom. And thus my first mural project was born. The next year, I discovered it had been painted over in white. (For more about my experiences with my kinder art project, click here. )

Last year, for Día de Muertos in Todos Santos, I was invited to particpate in a group mural project headed by Miguel Ochoa (the owner of Hotel Casa Tota across the street) and Michael Cope (painter, gallerist & chef) - to paint the wall of the Cultural Center with a series of Calaveras (skulls). The basic design was given to me—all I had to do was decide on the colors and the details. I worked all day, it was exhausting but exhilarating. I had no idea when I started if I could pull it off, but I did.

But this new mural project was more daunting. I was to come up with my own design in my own section of wall. The overall theme of the project is the town of Pescadero, a small modest fishing town, but instead of going for the ocean theme, I decided to do the garden idea again, featuring only indigenous Baja plants. Ever since I moved here, I have fallen in love with drawing plants. I started the mural two weeks ago, and I will be finishing this weekend. I have been making many mistakes along the way, because my methodology of working is really no methodology. I like to dive in, improvise and learn by all the mistakes I make along the way. My style may not be the most efficient, but I like doing things that way. It makes me feel free and open. So I’ve decided to share with you the top 10 things I learned from this project and share some images of my process.

Here are my top 16 lessons, many of which I learned the hard way:

1. Start as early in the morning as possible to beat the sun, the heat and the onlookers.

2. Bring a snack and plenty of drinking water so you don’t have to have leave your spot when you get hungry and thirsty.

3. Bring a sunhat and sunglasses and if possible, a large umbrella for shade.

4. Bring plenty of water & a rag to rinse out your brushes.

5. You can do a mural with basic house paint in the colors red, blue, yellow, black and white - it’s so fun to mix your own colors!

6. Make sure you bring cups for mixing paints that are large enough to dip your larger brushes into.

7. Paint dries darker, so make sure you mix a color slightly lighter.

8. Be aware if you’re wearing sunglasses with a tint! Make sure you check your colors with sunglasses off! In my case, I was wearing sunglasses with a yellow tint (my personal favorite) All my colors looked better to me with through my sunglasses.

9. A black sharpie looks fantastic if you like to create black outlines, like I do. It’s much easier to manage than a thin paintbrush. Make sure you bring a few, as they get damaged with a bumpy wall.

10. If you do use a black sharpie, make sure you draw after you paint, otherwise you will have to draw twice.

11. Paint your background first! Otherwise you will have to painstakingly have to paint around every little detail. (Can you tell I learned this the hard way?)

12. Bring a pencil too - to sketch out the mural

13. The natural bumps of a wall add nice character to your lines, rather than going for perfect and straight. Let go of perfectionism!

14. Make sure you pick a subject that you love and if you don’t know how to paint something, don’t be afraid to copy from photographs or even other drawings.

15. Use actual living plants (or people or things) for inspiration, if you can, and if not, bring photos or drawings.

16. If painting intimidates you, remember painting a mural can just be like drawing on a wall and then filling in your lines with paint.

17. Don’t worry if you make a mistake. You can easily paint over anything and do it again!

Happy painting!

Zoë's Mediterranean Salad

Well this is a first for me. My very first blog post about food. It's not that I don't love eating or love talking about food, but I have never loved writing about food. It's one of a few subjects that doesn't really grab me. But, I've been receiving so many requests lately by my friends who live in Baja, where it's still hot, who are looking for ideas of recipes they can make with out cooking. So I have decided I am finally going to share my famous chickpea salad recipe that I invented about 12 years ago, and have been perfecting ever since.

It all started in Oakland, when my friend Marie came over for lunch and I made several different Mediterranean-inspired dishes - fava bean salad, tabouli, greek salad. There were a lot of leftovers, and I combined them and thought, wow, that's even more delicious! For the first several years of making this dish I used whole wheat couscous, until I realized that it was much easier to find rice in Baja, and it tasted even better with rice.  

So here is the current version of this salad. It's a one pot meal, as they say, which is fabulous to take to picnics and potlucks. And includes all the food groups (except meat). You can omit the feta cheese if you want, and then it's a vegan meal too! 

Oh, and I must mention this is one of my all time favorite meals that my whole family loves.

Zoë's Chopped Mediterranean Salad

(serves 4-6 as a main dish, with lots of leftovers)

1. 1 cup rice (White or Brown) 

2. 3 cans chickpeas (depending on taste)

3. 1 cucumber, peeled

4. 1 red pepper

5. 1 yellow pepper

6. A few handfuls of cherry tomatoes halved (or chopped tomatoes)

7. 1 green apple (other varieties will do as well)

8. 1 sweet white onion

9. 1 bunch of green onions

10. 1 bunch of finely chopped parsley

11. 1 bunch of finely chopped mint

12. 1 - 2 lemons (depending on taste)

13. Feta Cheese (optional if you are vegan) (amount to taste)

14. Olive Oil

15. Chopped toasted almonds

16. Cayenne (optional)

Cook the rice ahead of time and let cool completely. Drain the chickpeas and rinse. Chop all ingredients into bite size cubes and throw them into a large bowl. Mix them completely and then add olive oil and lemon to taste. Keep stirring and keep tasting until you are pleased with the balance. Add plenty of salt and pepper and I love a bit of cayenne as well. Serve with the toasted almonds on the side, as you will have leftovers and the almonds should not be left mixed with the salad lest they become soggy. If you serve it the next day, I recommend squeezing additional lemon on right before you eat it as the acid mellows over time.

Of course there are endless variations on this dish, but I recommend you try this recipe first and then start substituting and playing. Feel free to comment below with your substitutions.

For those of you who live in Southern Baja, I recommend the feta cheese from El Sol market. It's in the fridge, in the cheese section. It comes in an unlabelled clear plastic container, and it's local and delicious. One container should be enough for one dish.

Why I Love Art Journaling & Self Love

I seem to feel compelled, over and over, to explain why I promote art journaling, why I love creative challenges and also, why self love is so damn important.

So here I go again:

Why Art Journaling?

Art Journaling (and personal blogging as the digital form of art journaling) has allowed me to move through many depressions in my life. Ever since I received my first journal at 7 years old, I have used my journal as a space for personal reflection, insight and expression. It's been a free and safe space to connect the dots of my creativity. The journal is a space to capture ideas and to play with the chaotic elements of the mind. The journal is a space to dream, observe, interact with life around us, as well as within us. 

How is art journaling different than any other journaling or arting?

Art Journaling always involves visuals and words. That’s the only thing that defines it, as far as I’m concerned. My form of art journaling is often focused on depth-work and making meaning, because that is my training and orientation. But art journaling can also be a companion for creative projects, which is also just as valuable. 

Some of us are more image-based and some of us are more word-based, but either way, the intention of art journaling is to weave the two halves of the brain, the two principles of the universe: the masculine and the feminine. The art journal holds space for both our linear and non-linear processes. It holds space for our emotions, fantasies & intuitive guidance as well as our story-telling, planning & problem-solving. It is both a space to capture our experience of life as it unfolds, to process the patterns of our past, and to channel what we want to manifest in our future. I believe it is opening up to our unique wholeness, and in particular, the integration of the masculine and feminine within, that brings us into our deepest potential and highest purpose. Art Journaling does just that. And the best part is it’s a low cost activity available to nearly everyone. 

Have I convinced you yet?

Okay, so why a month-long challenge?

I love time-based, daily, compassion-based (or internally-based) challenges because they work. They push us to reach beyond our normal limitations and comfort zones, but not from a place of external pressure, but rather from a place of inner organic expansion. The most inspiring, creative and productive times in my life were when I was in school or when I participated in creative challenges. Creative challenges have an awakening, reaffirming affect. They affirm who we are in our truest sense. And they affirm our connection to others. They grow community. And, they help us to create new habits that are more aligned with our higher selves. 

And what is Self Love?

Ah, this is a big one. And it’s a relatively new one, for me. 

Growing up, the message I had about self love was that it was embarrassing, shameful and should be hidden. I felt that I shouldn’t love myself and others shouldn’t love themselves. In this culture, we see so much narcissism that we get confused--we hope we aren’t narcissistic, or selfish, or have a big ego. We wouldn’t dare possibly share that we like or, god forbid, love ourselves. What if someone was offended or didn't agree that we were lovable?

Well I am on a mission to bring us into a much more expanded idea of what it means to wholly love ourselves with out sounding too much like a Self-Help guru from the 1980's.

What is self love? What is the difference between self love and narcissism, selfishness or egotism?

Self Love is about loving your wholeness. Loving all the parts. Including the ego, and its “petty” attachments and desires that allow it to keep going. It’s about loving the wounded parts, with their drive to heal, to become whole again. It’s about loving the heart, the natural healer we all possess, loving its feelings that radiate out—the joy, but also the grief. It’s about loving the body, with its flaws, its way of revealing the truths that the inside can no longer hold in. It’s about loving the world, too—our interaction with it. It's about loving our experience of the world—the vulnerability that comes just from being open and receptive.

Narcissism is not Self Love, in fact, it’s the opposite. Narcissism is loving only a fixed image of one of your selves. It is an unhealthy attachment to the frozen mask that covers a part of ourselves that is deeply wounded, so wounded that it cannot be loved. So in fact, ironically, Self Love is the cure for narcissism. The warmth of our love can melt even the most frozen, stuck, rejected places within.

Self Love is about The Self with a capital S. In Jungian terms, the Self is the organizing principle, the center that holds all conscious and unconscious experience. The Self is a microcosm of an individual that reflects the macrocosm of the universe. The Self holds all the smaller selves, or identities. And through this holding, we allow healing and transformation. The Self is the full potential of what is human, what is felt, imagined, thought about, seen, heard, sensed, tasted, touched, and also what is in shadow. The Self is wholeness. It is round, and with out end. Its center touches all centers. Its circumference has edges, but no end. Jung discovered the Self archetype is represented by a Mandala. A circle. 

To love The Self is to love all that you are, all that you experience. To unfreeze the parts of your heart that are afraid or ashamed. It means to actually feel into your heart. Bring its awareness to your life, to call on it when you are anxious or lonely. It means to practice non-judgmental awareness—within and around you. To know that all potential lives inside you and to judge it would be to cut yourself off from an aspect of life. 

Whether you participate in the art journal challenge, or not, I invite you to enter this new year, on this day of the full moon, to allow yourself to love yourself, all parts, voices and uncertainties. To make more and more space for what it is to be human. To let your heart heal you. 

With our self love in tact, we can change our outer world. I do not believe it’s possible to bring lasting change in the world until we fully can accept and love our inner world.

Let's love ourselves fully into 2018 so we can create a world flows from our own radical irrepressible self love.

As Always, Love & Creativity,

Zoë

The January 2018 Art Journal Challenge is here!

Join me on Monday, January 1st 2018 for my second January Art Journal Challenge!

The basic level of this challenge is free. This year's challenge is going to focus only on art journaling (as opposed to last year which was a combo of both blogging and art journaling). If you are a blogger, you can still adapt the prompts for your purposes.  This year's challenge is also different because I've added an additional coaching element for those who feel they want or need additional support, guidance and feedback. The basic level is free for everyone. The coaching package is $100 and includes a 60 minute phone session at the beginning of the month and email coaching through out the entire month. One additional new aspect of the 2018 challenge is that there is a theme! The month-long theme is: SELF LOVE. I am very excited about this theme, and self love is something I've been promoting and developing as an integral part of my own healing journey and in my work as a therapist, coach & teacher.

How does the 31 Day Art Journal Challenge work?

1) Sign up in the form at the bottom of this post with your email. Basic participation in this challenge is free.

2) If you aren't in it already, join my Art Journal Lab Facebook Group. The Facebook Group is where you will receive your art journaling prompt every day. I will post each prompt the night before. The challenge starts on January 1st and goes every day through January 31st.

3) Optional: Add the $100 coaching package by clicking the image to the right or at the bottom of this post. The coaching package includes one 60 minute phone session with me at the beginning of the month as well as email coaching with me for the whole month of January. The coaching offers an opportunity for you to identify your challenges, intentions & callings and to receive personalized attention, support and feedback on your writing, arting and self love practices. Note: Once you have paid for your coaching session, you will receive an email from me with a link to schedule your session and some questions to get you started.

4) Do the prompts every day in your journal. Use whatever supplies appeal to you. I recommend an 8.5 x 11 blank journal. If you are in Todos Santos, I have those journals for sale. Send me an email if you'd like to purchase one. Otherwise, you can order a journal like the one you see on the right, here.

Another exciting option is to participate in the Sketchbook Project at the Brooklyn Art Library in conjunction with this challenge. Sign up for the Sketchbook Project by January 5th, by buying a sketch book from them, which you can complete as part of this challenge. After you are done, mail your filled sketchbook for them to keep in their library, which features the largest collection of sketchbooks in the world!

5) Feel free to post your art journal pages, questions, process, or anything that relates to the self love or the topic of art journaling in the Facebook group. That is your space to connect with others as well as with me.

6) If you enjoy posting your pages on social media, please use the hashtag: #31dayjournalchallengejan18

I imagine everyone's reasons for joining this challenge will be varied. It may be because you want to get back into your writing and/or your art again in a daily way. You may just be to learn about art journaling. For some, it may be an opportunity to have a quiet moment to connect with yourself. And for others, it might a wild time to experiment, with no goal other than to unleash your creativity. And for all of us, hopefully, it is simply a way to practice and increase self love! You may discover some new reasons along the way.

For me, this year's challenge is about three things:

1) To promote the inspiring, creative & healthy practice of art journaling

2) To build online community through creativity and authentic connection

3) To promote the practice of self love

What is art journaling?

Art Journaling is a process that combines visual art (drawing, painting, collage, or photography) and words. Art Journaling can consist of intimate journal entries, poetry, doodling, hand lettering, free associative writing, list-making, goal-setting and planning. Putting those two aspects of our experience together on the same page: visual and verbal is the common ground for all art journaling.

My version of art journaling is unique in that it combines techniques, theories, and assignments from my work as an expressive arts therapist and creativity coach. For the past five years, I have been teaching Art Journal Lab, a class that combines these techniques, in Todos Santos, Mexico, near where I live. I teach people the tools, philosophy and basic skills they need to interact with the different parts of self, which I refer to as the inner family of self. I create a structure that makes it possible to connect to the invisible parts that we feel, but don’t always acknowledge or express.

I have a Masters’s in Counseling Psychology, with a focus on Expressive Arts Therapy, meaning I use drama, dance, music, writing and visual art as a form of therapeutic intervention with the goal of integrating the personality, healing trauma and practicing new ways of being. I also teach creativity, not only for all types of artists, but for anyone who wants to practice a more empowered, creative and compassionate way of being in the world. I believe the most important relationship we have is with ourselves, but this is often the relationship that gets shoved by the wayside as we tend to prioritize everything else: our spouse or partner, our children, our work, our home, our family of origin. I believe if we cannot engage in a creative, conscious, curious and compassionate way with ourselves, we are not living up to our full potential and cannot offer the full version of ourselves to anything we do. The more we know ourselves, and ultimately, accept and love ourselves, the more good we can do for our families, friends, communities and our world. It’s an inside out approach—which is the reverse of what we have been trained to do in our culture.

You do not have to be a trained artist or writer to do art journaling. Anyone who can pick up a pen or pencil and has a blank book can do art journaling. There are no special supplies that are necessary, though I will be sharing some of my favorite tools on the blog. One of my life's missions is to show how everyone is creative, and that the arts were meant to be used by all of humanity as a tool to discover the soul, and to engage in life in a more balanced, compassionate way. Through our engagement with the arts, we are able to make space for expressing the darkness, the unconscious parts of the Self, instead of acting those parts out on others. It is particularly this, this engagement with the shadow (the parts of us we do not see or do now want to see, or feel) that is the creative gold of this work. When we have the courage to bring our light of consciousness to our own shadow, we are able to unearth our previously buried psychic energy so we can make use of even our darkest pain.

I know this not only from the work I have done with my students and clients, but also from my own personal journey, which I have shared at two different presentations at Women Awakening, a women’s summit in Todos Santos, of which I am a co-creator. In my talk, I shared my philosophy, artwork, music and personal story, about what it means to be yourself, which is about being, and ultimately loving, all your selves. Sharing this talk was a personal revelation for me, as I discovered what it felt like to open myself up and share authentically, weaving my professional, personal, intellectual and artistic life in one space. My goal, more recently, has been to integrate these disparate parts of myself. I have intuitively felt that this way we separate our different selves is not just a problem for me, but for many others, and especially for women, who struggle so much with disappearing into our roles. The goal is not to disappear into any one role, but to bring your whole self to every role you do, so you have access to all your selves whenever you need them. I believe this is the goal of human development. And through our working with what we are, in an honest way, we also access our spiritual power. It has been my experience that when we contact our soul, we open up to spirit, which helps us expand into more love.

The reasons I host creative challenges it to help connect people to their creativity, passion and personal truth. Doing something every day creates a new habit that is affirming and helps you grow--expanding your sense of authentic self that you bring into the world. It is most certainly a challenge to do something everyday with out fail. But it is also very rewarding, and the sense of accomplishment from completing a whole month with a daily creative practice is a real thrill.

I can't wait to see what it might do for you!

If you want to join me in this challenge, subscribe below with your email.

If you would like to add the $100 coaching package for personalized guidance and feedback, click the button below the form as well.

Start From Where You Are, One Size All Advice For Creativity + Life

 

Dear Creative Crusader,

I’ve been thinking about creative blocks lately. It’s the theme for the second week for my online creativity intensive. 

Over the years, I’ve experienced and worked through a lot of blocks to my creativity and I’ve helped a lot of other people with theirs. I’ve used my creativity, my expressive arts therapy training and techniques from my study of the arts to work through these blocks.

There are so many kinds of blocks, and so many creative ways we can work through or with our blocks. We can work through them on the mental level—questioning our beliefs. We can work through them on the physical level—relaxing the body, deep breathing. We can work through them on the emotional level—acting as compassionate witness to our inner resistances, like fear. We can work through them on the spiritual level—opening up the channel of our creativity to a higher source, and relinquishing the smaller self. 

I have tried all of these, and they have all have worked for me depending on what the particular block is, and my current relationship to it.

But, there’s one method of unblocking that I have found that never fails and is applicable to all situations. It doesn’t require any special equipment or knowledge. You don’t need to spend a lot of time with it. And it is always available. 

START FROM WHERE YOU ARE

That’s it. It’s really that simple.

What does it mean?

It means checking in with yourself and asking yourself honestly, in this moment, what do I feel? What do I want? 

And if the answer is: I’m blocked.

Then what do you do? You start from that place.

You create from that place. You feel into the block. You get curious about the block. You use your imagination to imagine the size, the shape, the color, the weight of the block. You draw the block. You dance the block. You speak to the block. You describe the block with your words. 

And then something is starting to happen. It may be a very small something. It may feel insignificant. But, I can tell you, it’s not. It’s very, very important. Because you it's a way of seeing that your creativity is always there, it’s just that you have not been able to see it. You can't use it if you don't acknowledge it. Acknowledging what is happening in the moment is the first spark of your creativity. 

Still feel a wall between you and your creativity?

Draw the wall. Mime your hands up the wall. Write an ode to the wall. What does it feel like to touch? How has the wall served you? 

You may soon be laughing. Or if not, you are at least creating something.

Go ahead, and laugh. Keep laughing. And then get curious about what happens next…
 

There is only one thing I can teach.

I teach people how to look within to access the resources they already have. 

The resources are:
 

creativity

curiosity

compassion

consciousness

We all have those resources and they are endlessly renewable and free. We don’t need a new app or an upgrade or a class. We just need to learn how to look.

There is another phrase I am fond of saying:
 

THAT WHICH HINDERS YOUR TASK IS YOUR TASK

It’s a different way of saying the same thing.

This phrase comes from Sanford Meisner, the great acting teacher. For two years, I trained in his methodology, not under him, but with two teachers who had trained with him. My teacher posted this phrase in large letters on the wall of our acting studio. It summed up everything we needed to know about Meisner's method.

The technique Meisner developed was called the repetition technique. The basic idea is to have two actors sit on the stage, in chairs, facing each other. The actors take turns making simple observations about each other. "You're smiling." The other actor repeats the statement, "Yes, I'm smiling." The repetition goes back and forth until the statement no longer feels true, or until one of the actors notices something new that is happening either in herself or in the other.

The technique is about staying connected to the emotional truth of the moment, and riding those emotions as they change. Many years later, I trained for 3 years to become an expressive arts therapist. I consider my earlier Meisner training an invaluable part of my training as a therapist. And it was essentially the same thing—a training in emotional presence. In connecting with the truth of the moment, and allowing oneself to let go of the former moment in favor of what’s happening right now. 

A photo from my Meisner acting class with Joe Anania, in the late 1990's

You don’t need to train in the Meisner technique or as an expressive arts therapist, to make use of this concept. All you need to do is drop in, at any moment, to the truth of your experience. That is where your real and authentic self is. Your self is not a thing, but a process. You are not a noun, you are a verb. 

I think it is safe for you to try this at home. 

Get comfortable in your chair. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and check in with yourself: What do I feel right now? What am I aware of? Whatever first hit you get— a pain in your shoulder, a fluttering in your chest, an image of a blank page. Create something out of it. Let the dots connect from one moment to the next. If you get frustrated because your cousin drops in unexpectedly as you are creating, then, b all means, invite your cousin into what you are doing.

That which hinders your task is your task.

Love & Creativity,

Zoë

Why I Heart Art Journaling

Dear Creative Crusader,

I want to share with you why I believe in art journaling, and why I started teaching Art Journal Lab (nearly) five years ago. 

The term “Art Journaling” means different things to different people. I've seen a lot on the internet about art journaling. It's a “hot” thing right now. Even the self-professed "non-creative" Brené Brown has added it to her roster of offerings. Often, when I look into other peoples’ versions of art journaling, the focus is different than mine, which is more on technique, ways of creating pages that highlight pithy sayings or sparks of deep truth. 

For me, art journaling is about many things, but it is mostly about the experience. It’s a form of meditation (and in my class includes meditation as the starting off point). It’s about creating a space, a private space. A safe space. A free space. A space where there are absolutely no rules, the critic is not invited, and neither is your dog, your husband, your wife, or your kid. (Well, I have to admit  I do sometimes invite my kid to draw in my journal and my dog has been known to make a cameo appearance.)
 

But really... It’s a space FOR YOU.

In the fast-paced, space-crunched, tech-laden, urban world of today, there isn’t a lot of space left just for you. You may not live out in the desert or the country, like I do, where there’s lots of space. Not everyone is necessarily blessed with a room of one's own. But a journal, which is inexpensive and can be carried anywhere, is your turtle shell. It’s your mobile home that reflects your heart, mind, body & soul. A traveling holistic mirror. A moveable space where you get to develop your point of view, your world, your visions. It’s a space for lovingly holding your wounds, dreams & questions. And for artists of all kinds, its an invaluable tool.

When I look at culture, I feel concerned for us, as humans. I feel our humanity getting squeezed out and I seriously want to protect it. I worry that we have less and less time for ourselves to wander, wonder, fall apart, feel, experiment, play, dream, not to mention, create. I worry that we don’t give ourselves adequate time to heal our wounds, nurture our souls, question our lives, develop our ideas. I believe these kinds of right brained/feminine/yin experiences are important because with out them, we aren't whole, and we live like robot slaves--unintentionally reflecting the conventions of our externally focused culture.

Our culture has not valued this side of life for a long time. The tender, invisible, intangible side. We dismissively call it “fluff,” unnecessary or silly. This rejection is another form of internalized sexism. This is our culture’s rejection of the feminine principle: feeling, emotion, intuition, creativity, imagination, receptivity, compassion--it's a giant wound for all of us. Not just women. Even though women make up over 90% of my subscribers, clients and students, I always keep the door open for men and boys, just in case, because they need this just as much as women do. Maybe even more.

This is the reason I do what I do. To create a safe & fun space for people to enter into, so they can unpack their whole being and experience the beauty of all of their selves, including shadow parts, wounds, dreams & celebrations. This is what happens in Dance Lab, Art Journal Lab, in my private sessions, my online courses, events & my future retreats. Heck, it's even what most of my poetry and songwriting is about.

And that is what the journal is for. It's your safe space where you get to move according to your own rhythms, with no rules, apologizing or holding back.

For me, art journaling has so many facets & possibilities, too many for one blog post, but simply put: it is a process of capturing our life experience using both hemispheres of the brain—left processing (linear, rational, verbal, active) and right processing (non-linear, emotional, image-based, receptive). It’s about balancing both sides of our experience and honoring that both aspects are needed in order to be, and feel whole. I don’t believe I’ll ever tire of talking about this, and emphasizing its importance. 

Of the people who have attended art journal lab over the years, some are trained, self-identified artists or writers, but many are not. Some are highly comfortable with words, but are self-effacing about their drawing abilities. Some are just the opposite.

In the world of art journaling (and all of the art therapies), skill is not the point. Of course it is lovely to have skills, and to develop our skills. And I, for one, am madly in love with learning. (Skill building is a module in my 31 day intensive). But, in the context of art journaling, what’s important is that we do it, no matter how we feel about our skills. We draw, we try our hand at imagining, we experiment, we explore, we play. That is the point. The process is the point of it. The doing of it increases our creativity, enhances our ability to see, to understand the world through our own eyes.

We are linking the two sides of our brain, just by trying. Just by creating both words and images. Even if we feel we have failed to capture the thing we are trying to capture, we still have succeeded because we brought ourselves into deeper balance and we have paid attention. Just as with meditation--even if we were mostly in our monkey-mind, even if all we experienced was a mere sliver of respite, the fact that we observed our mind at all, that we practiced observation--made the whole effort (or non-effort) worthwhile. 

Whether you think of yourself as an artist or not, I believe we are all artists. We all can be artists, if that is what we choose to be. We all are creative and we all can increase our creativity through practice. Creativity is good for us. There is no doubt about it. We need our creativity to evolve, to become more complex and also more refined. As individuals and as a collective. 

And so I believe in art journaling as an invaluable practice for self-proclaimed artists or for anyone to become more creative, connected, and whole.

Just for fun, and just for today, as it’s the first day of the 31 Day Intensive, I am going to share today’s prompt with all of you.

The word of the day is: curiosity

The prompt is:

Throughout your day, keep your inner eye open to the visual world around you. And pay attention to your curiosity. Which objects, people, spaces, animals, plants, food, gestures, colors delight your curiosity?  What do you want to investigate, discover?

Use a page in your journal to list those curiosities through out the day. You can list them in word form or in visual form, or both. Or you can photograph them, if that is your preference. And then at the end of the day, take a few from the list, and leading with your curiosity, research each “thing”. There are infinite ways of researching. 

Here are a few: 

• focused googling
• studying the thing with all five of your senses
• asking an expert
• using your imagination as the investigator into the spiritual significance or history of that curious "thing"

Enjoy and let me know how it goes!

If you are interested in art journaling, I will be hosting another Art Journaling/Blogging Challenge in January 2018 and you can also join my Art Journal Lab Facebook group. 

Love & Creativity,

Zoë

Projects, Parenting & Spray Bottles, Part Two

ZOELAB DAY 89

Date of Original Post: November 28, 2012

General home upkeep is also now an activity I do while Emilio is awake or around—I also don’t like tidying the house at night, and now that I have deemed it a daytime activity, I can be more engaged in the process of cleaning or organizing, while still being partially engaged with Emilio. I can give him some attention, by engaging in his play by asking him evocative questions, while at the same time accomplishing house care: sweeping, tidying up, etc. It’s only been a few days of this new approach, but so far I am encouraged by how much I’m accomplishing while still giving Emilio the attention he needs. Of course it helps that we have just returned from a trip, so we are both happy to be home--Emilio with a reinvigorated attitude towards his toys, and me with a reinvigorated attitude towards returning to my projects and organizing our home (partially in preparation for the next wave of objects from our past that Lucas will be carting back in the trailer and the fast coming tourist season.) 

Mopping

House cleaning and organizing can also be a full-attention parenting activity. In other words a joint activity you can do with your child. One rare day I felt like mopping the floor to our house (like dishwashing, mopping is not on my favorite house chore--I strongly prefer sweeping or wiping down surfaces), and as I got out the mop and the spray bottle (filled with half vinegar and half water-a great natural and inexpensive disinfectant) I saw a glint in Emilio’s eye and I asked if he wanted to help. He wanted to be the one to spray the vinegar water on the tile floor while I mopped the area he sprayed. We both had a lot of fun and felt equally motivated to clean the entire floor this way. I felt a deep satisfaction at having a clean space, and all the more so because we had managed to accomplish and make fun, a chore that I had always found tedious. And I didn’t have to spend any precious alone time doing it. 

Wiping Surfaces

On another day, we decided we wanted to use the coffee table to draw, but it was dirty and needed to be cleaned. Again, I got out the spray bottle and a rag. I let him spray the entire table with the spray and wipe as much as he wanted, and then I added some finishing touches. After we were done, I felt like I could breathe better. I remarked at how nice it was to have the table all clean. I asked Emilio if he liked having it clean (hoping I could instill a cleanliness gene in him mentally instead of through DNA) and he said “yes.” And then I asked him why. And he said “because we sprayed and wiped it.” What he liked was not the result of table being clean, but the activity in itself, the experience of cleaning. Wouldn’t I keep the house cleaner if I saw it the same way?

Cleaning Up Toys

Another activity that can be done with full attention, and therefore becomes a good parenting moment and a good house care moment, is cleaning up toys. Now because the space we live in is a shared space by three unique individuals (Ping, covered in fleas, does not come in the house--which is the Mexican way with dogs) , it is easily overtaken by any one of us. I find that I feel happier at night if Emilio’s toys are already put away. I also think tidying up is a good skill for him to learn. Therefore, another one of the evening rituals I try to do is clean up toys as part of bedtime routine. I dangle the three books he will have for night time as a motivator, which usually works, unless he is so tired that he will resist just to resist. In which case I don’t ask him to clean up his toys in order to keep clean up time free of negative associations (you’ve got to pick your battles.) Ihave come up with an organization system, using various containers of shapes and sizes to help contain his toys. Therefore cleaning up becomes as much a sorting game as it does a chore. Even Emilio’s friends know which types of toys go in which containers. For example: the 1950’s white vinyl train case (from Ruth, my mother in law, who, on an overall life simplification jag, dispersed her impressive collection of vintage suitcases and train cases) holds the dolls and doll furniture (I guess some day we will get/make him a doll house), the metal Japanese Snoopy tin holds his collection of 1960’s and 70’s Fisher Price Little People, the cylindrical oatmeal tin holds his magnets (and becomes a great magnet toy in itself). My point is that cleaning up can be challenging and fun when it’s a sorting game. Sometimes as an extra motivator I add the challenge of competition-the point system. Every time someone puts a toy in a container I call out “I got a point. I got two points. You got a point” and so on. It’s just like a basketball game, but there’s lots of balls and we put them in the same hoop. This usually works in getting Emilio to put away his toys, but sometimes he still resists, and then his own internal motivator kicks in--he makes a new game where he finds creative ways (usually involving toes) to pick up the toys and put them in their appropriate container. It’s not as quick as my point method, but whatever works in the current circumstance is what’s best.

To be continued...

Note to reader: the power cord to my computer just burnt out on me, which means that I will not be able to charge my computer after it dies, which means I might be delayed in getting the next posts out until I can borrow or buy a new one. Yikes!

what I learned from posting words and images (almost) every day for a year

I am sharing here, in honor of completing the 31 Day Art Journaling/Blogging Challenge, my second to last post from my first blog, ZOELAB 365, where I blogged every day for a year. This is the learning and meaning I made from that intense year, which catapulted me out of postpartum depression and into a highly-charged creative inner life that has informed me, and my professional work, ever since. 

THE WRITING PROCESS

I love to write. But writing is very taxing on the mind. I need to be alert, awake, I need to feel clear. I need few distractions. Also, writing takes time. No wonder writers always seem to be writing. Writing is the most time consuming art for me. Of course there are times when writing is quick—sometimes a poem just flows out of me, or sometimes I do free writing from the unconscious that is uneditable. But, for a lot of the writing I do on here—autobiography, essays, story-telling and even poetry has become a labor I work at and edit. 

Writing cannot be rushed. It takes as long as it takes. Feeling rushed is no good for writing. No good at all. Yet, structure is very good for writing. Therefore, I like to give myself regular periods to write. I like writing every day for about an hour, but not to let time determine when I am done with a particular piece. Having watched the emotional damage an unrealistic writing deadline did for Hannah in Season Two of Girls, I am convinced that kind of writing deadline is no good for no one. 

There is nothing good or bad about this discovery—it just is. But it does lead me to want to change the parameters of my next project. Writing every day is great. Publishing every day is a challenge I am not up for again, at least not this next go round. It is too taxing on my brain. 

Writing in the mornings is ideal. Writing in the afternoons with a cup of coffee is great too—but if I drink coffee in the afternoons then I can’t sleep at night, so therefore it is not ideal.

Insomniac writing can be very good for me--way healthier than lying bed with thoughts circling.

PROCESS

I like to have different stations already set-up around the house with pens, pencils, markers paper or notebooks, recording devices, books.

THE LONG VIEW

One of the lessons I have learned over and over this year is basically a cliché—when we hear something said the same way enough times we no longer pay attention, but here it is: nothing great is easy. It’s true. It just is. Going for our dreams, building a life that mirrors our values, living life that is less governed by practicality than it is fun, going for happiness—all of these sound great, but all require enormous amounts of sacrifice and hard work, which isn’t always fun. And time. Building a dream takes enormous amounts of time. It’s hard to be patient with long-term goals, but if you are like me and Lucas, and have a low income, you must make up for lack of funds with creativity, time spent and acceptance of a lower standard of polish--with the understanding that it is all in process. This is something I never understood before I moved to Baja, or even before I met Lucas. He reminds me over and over again when I start to become despondent about the state of our house or the vermin factor that we are working on it—it’s improving a little bit every day. Be patient. Take some time for relaxation or fun. It would be awfully hard for me to stay balanced if it weren’t for Lucas holding up the other side of life.

It’s all about priorities. Every day I make little and big choices based on these priorities sometimes I find myself doing something that does not align with one value, but it aligns with another, but in that moment—I must prioritize one value over another. And what I have discovered in motherhood—is that more and more often—I choose what’s good for me in the moment because I believe I am a better mother when I take care of my own needs first. This is not to say I neglect Emilio when he truly needs something. This is to say that I let him watch a video if I really need a break and he is particularly demanding of my attention. This is to say that I eat a snack before playing with him to avoid getting grumpy and hungry later. This is to say I go out dancing with my friends and risk being tired the next day so that I can release some energy and have fun and grown up time. 

AESTHETIC

I have honed my aesthetic which is fueled by different combinations of reality: dirt, simplicity, naiveté, freedom, and expression over perfection of skill. 

ORGANIZATION

Organization seems to be the bane of many creative people’s existence. I have come to believe disorganization is really an unwillingness to spend time organizing when that time can be used writing, thinking, reading, painting, lying on the couch, chatting with a friend, almost anything else seems more fun/valuable/less daunting. However, if I find a way to feel creative about organizing, and when I realize how useful it is for creativity, to be organized, organizing takes on a whole new meaning. The problem is organizing is quite time-consuming and overwhelming, it is best to take it one step at a time. Conquer one area of the house, or one aspect of my work at a time.

Being organized makes my creative time more efficient, fun and smooth. I think of creativity as a constantly flowing river that runs through us and through everything in the world. Our job is to continually work on letting that water flow, lest it become stagnant and disease-ridden mosquitoes hatch their eggs in it.

MEANING

I make meaning by paying attention and by making connection between things. I spin those connections into art.  

A YEAR

Is not nearly enough time to build something. Especially not a blog or a relationship or a business or anything at all. A lot can happen in a year, and yet, building something is a slow process. Especially if you are doing it all by yourself. But I have learned that I don’t want to build it all by myself. I am ready to have more collaborations/co-creations. 

I view creative collaborations as a game that two people agree to make up rules for as they go along.

PROCESS

As an artist, I have always been interested in revealing the process of art. Of artifice. As a way to burn through the ego and get to something more authentic, more spontaneous, more honest, more alive. I believe the truly revolutionary thing I am trying to do here is to study and reveal process. Process is our mess--it’s what happens on the way to what we show to the world. But I think process is what’s most interesting and valuable because it is how we learn, and how we learn is a big part of who we are. 

PERFORMANCE

One of the essential truths about me is that I am a performer. Now, I am not sure if a performer is the same thing as an extrovert, but certainly the two are related. However, I think the essential difference is that performance has around it an air of make-believe. Even if the performer is being him/herself to a certain degree, there is an assumed set of imaginary rules, an invisible (or sometimes visible) stage, frame or context that heightens what is being performed. A performer is creating, ideally, with a certain degree of spontaneity. Another aspect of performance that differentiates it from say, drawing, or writing, is physicality. The body. This is not to say that the body is not involved in drawing or writing, but usually not consciously--not for me anyway. The body is not usually a part of the creative process (except in the case of performance art, or artists who use their body as part of the work.) In performance—music, dance, acting—the body is the mode of communication in a more conscious way. I have really missed that. Performance is also about being seen. Making a more direct connection with the viewer. The viewer becomes the audience—it is more reciprocal. This kind of reciprocity is what I long for. There were moments of performance in zoelab 365, but it certainly was not the main focus, and the kind of blogging I did did not inspire performance. Performance is also a very vulnerable thing—the spontaneity lends itself to that kind of vulnerability which is both an attraction and a fear for me. I am not sure if I was fully ready to embark on that kind of journey—as putting myself out the public in the way that I have was already a new and risky thing. By now, after doing it every day (or nearly every day) I have gotten used to it.

HAPPINESS

What I learned is happiness is not a final destination, but a goal that is in the background of every choice I make. It is a pursuit. Perhaps satisfaction is really the state I am heading towards, and satisfaction is certainly not an outwardly-measured state. Satisfaction has everything to do with the meaning I make and the point of view I take.

PHOTOGRAPHY

When it comes to color, composition and style I have a very good eye as a photographer, however, I possess a certain laziness when it comes to technical skill. After being a photographer for twenty five years, I still basically don’t know how to use a flash, and therefore, almost never use one (except when shooting grass or trees or bugs—which looks awesome with a flash). The camera I use for most of my photos, except for my earlier work which was shot with a Nikon 35 mm film camera, is a Canon G12. It’s a great camera—but it is not at all a professional-level camera. It’s perfect for my everyday uses. I have mixed feelings about creating images that are “magazine style” – one of the key ingredients for this kind of imagery is using an SLR (single lens reflex) that creates short depth of field. This makes all photos look more professional, even when shot by an amateur. I have mixed feelings because an aspect, not only of my aesthetic, but of my art ethic is what as known in the music world as a “punk rock ethic,” or a “do it yourself” ethic. I have always been interested in exploring the high art/low art crossover, and the everyday ness of certain kind of art forms. I like the work to be accessible that gives people a feeling of “I can do that too!” And yet, at the same time, I do want my images to look as good as possible—I may be able to express even more creativity through having a camera that is that much sharper.  That being said,  one of my new goals is to explore using a higher quality camera--using Lucas’ 40D or even his new Mark 2 to get better, cleaner, sharper shots.

EVERY DAY

It was nearly impossible to recover/make up for a missed post. There were weeks where I tried for a while, but I’d get too behind, and then I had to put a little hole so that I could keep up with the current day I was blogging about. 

I love having something creative I do every day, but having to share it everyday created more drama in my life than I would like.

LONELINESS

I would say loneliness was a big part of why I decide to do this project. The interesting thing is my loneliness does not have a self pity feeling to it--I recognize that I could live a less lonely existence if I wanted, but I recognize some part of me needs loneliness. That perhaps loneliness is a an important part of my creative process. As is collaboration. This blog did not so much assuage my loneliness as much as clarify it. I think an artist needs both loneliness and connection. Again, it comes down to balance.

BALANCE

Perfection is the enemy of balance. Or rather, if the goal is to live a balanced life—accepting that no one thing is bad, as long is it is in balance with its opposite--then there is no room for perfection.

THOROUGHNESS

Sometimes it is my thoroughness, my desire to adhere to truth, my compulsion to do what I said I was going to do, that offers a certain kind of dizzy craziness. My oppressiveness in standards. It was the kind of effort that kept me up past midnight many times per week, or allowed me to let the house get filthy, or to let Emilio watch more videos than I think is good for him. It put a lot of my relationship with Lucas on hold, and made it so I had less time for other activities. It put me out of balance, as most of the work I did here was very Left Brain. I developed my mind and my work ethic more than anything, but I miss the more emotional, sensual parts of creative experience.

I cannot say exactly, but I estimate, that on average, it took 2.5 hours to make a post— after 350 days (I missed 15), that adds up to 875 hours of work, divided by 52 weeks, which is about seventeen hours a week. That is more time than I spend doing anything else other than sleeping—cleaning, cooking, exercising, working, reading, etc. It was a big commitment, but it was so worth it. Though I must be honest, I am so glad it’s about to be over.

Tools of the practice: Art Journal Lab

So now, I keep in my zippered pencil case for on the go art journaling: 

• 2-5 sharpies in my favorite colors: neon pink, dark blue, black, yellow, gray (fine, ultra fine)
• 2 mechanical pencils (1.3 mm, .5 mm)
• one mechanical eraser
• 1, 2 black Microns (size 01)
• 1-2 Pigma brush tip pens, in black and green or brown
• A yellow-green neon highlighter
• My favorite writing pen is often hard to find here in Baja, the Pilot Precise V7 Rolling Ball, black in ultra fine tip.

In my purse, I keep a 5.5 x 8 spiral bound journal

In my vintage green Samsonite hard briefcase, which I use as my indestructible computer case, I keep my 8.5 x 11 spiral-bound journal

In other words, I am NEVER with out my journal. And almost never with out my computer.

In 2011, getting ready for a two month family trip to Europe, I decided I wanted to draw and write during my travels, so I bought myself a small square spiral pad, a varied selection of markers, pencils and pens and a little zippered pouch to keep it all in. I was so excited by the idea of creating my own travel kit of varied supplies, rather than just bringing one set of the same type of utensil.

My plan for that trip was to create a drawing for each city we visited, something that summed up my experience and impressions of the place. I made about three, but dropped the exercise after that. But, that book and that idea stayed with me, and I used it to create illustrations for my ZOELAB 365 project, when I blogged everyday for a year. 

Two years ago, I decided to try to sell art journaling supplies at the local Farmers Market, near where I live in Southern Baja, Mexico. I bought the same zippered cases I had bought myself for my trip, as it turns out the company that makes those cases, Blue Q, has its headquarters in the Berskshires, where my parents live, and they know the owners. I LOVE their products because they are made from 95% post consumer materials, 1% goes to charity, and they are so useful, clever and good-looking. So it felt like a win-win to sell their products as way to promote art journaling and meet new people. 

This November, my husband and I opened Luz Gallery, a photography and graphics gallery in the heart of Todos Santos. I knew I would continue to sell the tools that I love to use for art journaling. Spiral bound notebooks of different sizes, moleskines (which are lightweight and great for travel), Micron pens (brush tip and regular tip), Sharpies of different types, and those same zippered cases from Blue Q. 

And now, for this 31 Day Art Journaling/Blogging Challenge, I am motivated again to share my recommendations for the tools of art journaling. Of course, everyone is different. Some people love colored pencils (pencils of color), water colors, photography, collage, or even crayons! I have an amazing artist/illustrator friend who loves to buy herself a full box of 64 Crayola crayons as a treat. 

As for me, I am mostly a marker and pen girl. Always have been. I studied oil painting in high school and college. But then decided it wasn't for me. I also have dabbled in watercolor. And find it very fun and playful. But, when it comes to drawing in my journal. I have always been crazy for that more graphic-y, comic-book-y, children's illustration look. I love black pen. I love filling in those lines with markers. My drawings have a naive look to them (sort of on purpose, sort of out laziness). Sometimes I try to make things look more realistic, but I also love the spontaneity of creating a line in ink and committing to its irregularity. 

However, one day, I did rediscover the pencil, and things have changed for me. It all started when I decided I really wanted to learn hand-lettering (and eventually sign painting) I bought a book on the topic, which was very inspiring and useful. It's a book by Mary Kate McDevitt called: Hand-Lettering Ledger: A Practical Guide to Creating Serif, Script, Illustrated, Ornate, and Other Totally Original Hand-Drawn Styles. Mary Kate advises in her book to pencil out your hand lettering before you ink it in, and then erase original pencil lines. It makes total sense, right? But I had never before thought of sketching letters first in pencil and then inking them. Using a pencil was one of those obvious revelations. Immediately, I started to get that I was capable of making my lettering and drawing more technically correct, if I just allowed myself to take the time. And used an eraser! 

But more recently, I have developed another hand-lettering technique, which is spontaneous and improvisational, which truly is much more my style. It's block letters made with a sharpie, with no sketching involved. I used it for this promo I made for my new song Rock-n-Roll Thing using this technique, which I videos on time-lapse with my iphone. The iphone is another tool that is very new to me. I just received my first smart phone as a gift in May, and it has changed a lot of how I do my blogging and social media creativity. 

If you want to jumpstart your creativity, whether you are an artist, writer, performer or just someone who wants to feel more engaged with daily life, I highly recommend that you create a system of capturing that works for you. Keep a notebook by your bedside table. One in your bag or purse. One at your desk. Always travel with something to sketch and take notes with. 

This is how we develop ideas, capture insights and engage with our daily life, even the most mundane aspects. Nothing is too shallow nor too deep to capture. 

There are so many more tools out there. But I wanted to start with the basics. Those are my basics.

What are yours?

Why I must write

To write

before they wake up

before the sun rises

before the tea boils

before my thoughts become practical.

To write before I say why I shouldn’t

before I eat something,

before my stomach settles,

before I take a shit,

before I take off the layers of me that I put on for other people,

before

before

before.

Because if I do not write, something in me will surely die.

What is it? This something?

It is rain.

It is paradise.

It is the smallest voice of the surest truth.

It is the part that cannot speak.

It is the part that needs protection.

It is the part that saw me grow into a woman.

It is my voice.

Of invisible knowledge.

Of inside celebration.

Of inner heartache for the invisible and indescribable and untouchable.

I must get others to join me—in this waking up of the voice. 

In this holy act that no one will ask us to do.

I must lead the way for the others who are even quieter than me.

I ask you to wake up your own voice!

Let this voice

lead you to faraway places

allow you to end jobs and relationships and situations

that squelch this voice.

Or, at the very least,

if you cannot leave anything,

Make a space for yourself:

It can be a very small—

Small enough for you and your hands, and whatever you need to express your voice.

But, by all means, express this voice inside of you.

Because if you do not,

Something in you will surely die.

You will find it again, one day, when you return to the gentle listening,

But the voice will need some thawing and some massaging.

Something to WAKE IT UP!

So instead of waiting, 

Just do it now.

Okay?

Do it first. 

Before the kids wake up.

Before the sun rises.

Before the coughing stops.

Before you feel alright.

Before the other voices call you away.

Because I have a secret to tell you:

you were born an artist.

Because you have a soul,

and that soul speaks.

Your soul speaks!

It speaks in languages that are quieter and complex and sometimes unseen.

The language it speaks

is a kaleidoscope of pain and longing

And celebration.

The soul is eternal, as is art.

Which is to say, it exists outside of time.

Your job is to become alive to this language, this voice.

To ride inside time,

Like a mother attuned to her child’s quiverings and stirrings.

It belongs to you, but it belongs to the world.

Your soul doesn’t care 

If your voice sounds good.

It only wants to sound like itself.

Start From Where You Are For Blogging and Art Journaling

This is not the first time I have titled a blog post with this title. And it won't be the last either. 

Start from where you are.

It's the best advice I can give anyone looking to explore their creativity, find truth, or get started on a project that feels daunting.  For this advice, I am thinking of the bloggers and art journalers who have joined me on this month-long challenge to blog or art journal every day. I am thinking of my commitment to this practice, and the inspiration that I want to offer people.

I love this advice so much that I even teamed up with my friend/collaborator/colleague Holly Mae Haddock, and together, we wrote a song about it when I told her how I was going through a stuck period with songwriting, singing and guitar playing. It's called: Where I Am.

Here is the chorus:

I'm gonna start from where I am.  

With no memory or plan.                                                                                                                

I'm gonna offer who I am.                                                                                                                    

I'll be my own biggest fan.

How do you start from where you are? 

For me, it's always about looking within. Connecting within. It usually means closing the eyes. Slowing down the breath. Opening the imagination. It means turning on our awareness. What do we actually feel? It means noticing what kind of energy do we have right now in this moment, before we change it all with a thought, with a "should" or a "have to"?

And then, once we get a little taste of it, we create from that place. Maybe I notice I am feeling anxious and I focus on that feeling for a moment, and then draw that feeling. Or maybe it means I have an image of a little girl, and I want to create from the space that she occupies inside me, using crayons, or dancing to music she likes. 

For art journaling, it means capturing an essence of our experience, what is up for us, what feels important, juicy, or even scary. If you are art journaling, it is most likely private, and so the space of the journal page is a really safe place to let it all out. There are no limits to what you can create there--sometimes it's nice to start with something really simple. A feeling, an image, something that you are connecting with in this very moment. And then let it flow from that place.

Every blogger is different in terms of your goal, themes, styles, topics. My blogging sweet spot is about communicating something that usually stays inside. Sharing something that I would normally want to hide from people in everyday conversation. I like the feeling of the risk of sharing that kind of material on my blog. The shadow. It's what drives me. My shadow material might not look the same as yours--and it might not seem risky to you. But what's important is how it feels to you, the blogger. 

Morning Pages

One of the best, easiest and most rewarding practices for art journaling or blogging, is morning pages. For those who don't know, morning pages is an exercise that Julia Cameron invented in her book about the spirituality of creativity called The Artist's Way. It's basically the same thing as stream of consciousness writing. Her version is write 3 pages in a notebook with a pen or pencil with out stopping. I have adapted her exercise for my Art Journal Lab class, and set the timer for 15 minutes and do not limit the exercise to the morning (as our class meets in the afternoon.) Also, I am okay with doing the practice on a computer, though Julia insists on doing the morning pages with paper and pen. What matters most, in my opinion, is that you write with out editing, with out stopping, with out letting the critic get in your way. You write out the most mundane stuff in your mind, as well as the deepest stuff. It's a writing meditation, and it works. It allows us to get to know the contents of our mind before we block ourselves. The writing does not have to be good or even interesting. It's a process exercise designed to empty the chatter in our mind, and to let out the thoughts and feelings that are under that white noise. So on days you really don't know what to do with your blogging or your art journaling. Just write for 15 minutes with out stopping. If you are blogging, you might find something useful in there that you can edit or expand afterwards and turn into a blog post.

For the visual component, one thing you can do with your morning pages is scan the words after you are done to look for words that feel important to you. You can circle them with a colored pen (pen of color) and then choose one or a few to illustrate your blog post or your journal. Let yourself play--it's not about perfection but about exploring your visual senses in addition to your verbal expression.

In June 2015, I decided to quit Facebook because I was feeling frustrated by the lack of authentic expression on there--mine and others. I wanted to be real, but I didn't feel safe to be real, so I returned to my blog and committed to blogging daily for the month of June. I gave myself the parameter of writing daily for 15 minutes (morning pages on the computer). Then I gave myself another half hour to edit and expand, and add imagery and turn into a blog post. It was such a wonderful way to make my blog feel more alive, and I developed a more confessional style. I will be sharing some of those blog posts with you soon!

Let me know in the comments below how it goes for you to start from where you are.

Does any resistance come up?

If so, start from there. 

31 Day Art Journaling and Blogging Challenge

Join me on January 1st 2017 for my next 31 day challenge. I will be blogging and/or art journaling every day for the month of January in order to promote art journaling, return to my hiatus from blogging regularly, and to develop my art journal lab online course which I plan to release on my website in 2017. 

This creative challenge combines Art Journaling and Blogging. Meaning, if you choose to join this challenge, you can pick one of these daily practices, or both—alternating between the two, however you feel inclined to do it. In some cases your art journaling practice might become a digitized blog post. 

I imagine your reasons for joining this challenge will be varied. Some may use it as a way to get back into blogging or to start your first blog. For some, it may be a very private practice of meditative writing and drawing. And for others, it might a wild time to experiment, with no goal other than to unleash your creativity.

For me it is about four things: 1) To get back into blogging 2) To develop and my material for the upcoming art journal lab online course 3) To promote and teach art journaling 4) To attract new readers to my blog

What is art journaling?

Art Journaling is a process that combines visual art (drawing, painting, collage, or photography) and text. Art Journaling can consist of intimate journal entries, poetry, doodling, hand lettering, free associative writing, list-making. Putting those two aspects of our experience together on the same page: visual and verbal is the basis for all art journaling.

My version of art journaling combines techniques, theories, and assignments from my work as an expressive arts therapist and creativity coach. I also have been teaching Art Journal Lab, a class that combines these techniques, in Todos Santos for the past five years. I teach people the tools, philosophy and basic skills they need to interact with the different parts of self, which I refer to as the inner family of self. I create a structure that makes it possible to connect to the invisible parts that we feel, but don’t always acknowledge or express. I have a Masters’s in Counseling Psychology, with a focus on Expressive Arts Therapy, meaning I use drama, dance, music, writing and visual art as a form of therapeutic intervention with the goal of integrating the personality, healing trauma and practicing new ways of being. I also teach creativity, not only for all types of artists, but for anyone who wants to practice a more empowered, creative and compassionate way of being in the world. I believe the most important relationship we have is with ourselves, but this is often the relationship that gets shoved by the wayside as we tend to prioritize everything else: our spouse or partner, our children, our work, our home, our family of origin. I believe if we cannot engage in a creative, conscious, curious and compassionate way with ourselves, we are not living up to our full potential and cannot offer the full version of ourselves to anything we do. The more we know ourselves, and ultimately, accept and love ourselves, the more good we can do for our families, friends, communities and our world. It’s an inside out approach—which is the reverse of what we have been trained to do in our culture.

You do not have to be a trained artist or writer to do art journaling. Anyone who can pick up a pen or pencil and has a blank book can do art journaling. There are no special supplies that are necessary, though I will be sharing some of my favorite tools on the blog. My mission in life for a while now, has been to show how everyone is creative, and that the arts were meant to be used by all of humanity as a tool to discover the soul, and to engage in life in a more balanced, compassionate way. Through our engagement with the arts, we are able to make space for expressing the darkness, the unconscious parts of ourself, instead of acting those parts out on others. It is particularly this, this engagement with the shadow (the parts of us we do not see or do now want to see, or feel) that is the creative gold of this work. When we have the courage to bring our light of consciousness to our own shadow, we are able to unearth our previously buried psychic energy so we can make use of even our darkest pain.

I know this not only from the work I have done with my students and clients, but also from my own personal journey, which I recently shared in my talk at Women Awakening, the first women’s summit in Todos Santos. In my talk, I shared my philosophy, artwork, music and personal story, about what it means to be yourself, which is about being, and ultimately loving, all your selves. Sharing this talk was a personal revelation for me, as I discovered what it felt like to open myself up and share authentically, weaving my professional, personal, intellectual and artistic life in one space. My goal, recently, has been to integrate these disparate parts of myself. I have intuitively felt that this way we separate our different selves is not just a problem for me, but for many others, and especially for women, who struggle so much with disappearing into our roles. The goal is not to disappear into any one role, but to bring your whole self to every role you do, so you have access to all your selves whenever you need them. I believe this is the goal of human development. And through our working with what we are, in an honest way, we also access our spiritual power. It has been my experience that when we contact our soul, spirit arrives, aiding that process.

What is Blogging?

As many of us know, the reasons and ways to blog can vary greatly. It can be a tool to promote business, a way to keep track of your travels or other kinds of adventures, or a way to promote and share your creative work, political ideas, or simply to connect with your inner life. Whether it is for your business, for personal, or political expression, I believe a successful blog always stems from personal truth. If your business or your politics has no degree of personal connection for you, then perhaps you already have a great topic to or journal or blog about why this is so.

The most difficult and most important part of what it means to blog, or even journal, is that it is regular, preferably daily. It is also, as many bloggers will attest, the key to success. (Getting readers to read your blog.) From my experiences with daily practices, which is something I promote in my art journal lab class, as well as personally, I have come to believe in the amazing power of creating a daily practice, especially something that helps you connect with yourself, with the invisible world, feelings and other parts of us that we usually work hard to avoid, push down or unconsciously act out on others. These types of inward-directed daily practices keep us holistically healthy because they keep us connected to something true and deep in us.  These kinds of daily practices have helped me out depression, anxiety, a sense of loss, relationship issues, and more. They have helped me enormously with my creativity as an artist and as a mom and human being—when you do something daily, it forces you to be more creative with it—otherwise you get bored. We tend to look for new ways, new approaches when we know we have to do it everyday. 

So, use the term blogging however you feel connected to it—my definition is as follows:

To share words and images (hopefully self-generated) online about any topic, as long as it has has meaning or importance to you personally. One additional other feature: it must be dated for it to be a blog post, otherwise it is just a webpage. The date makes it time-connected, and therefore, applicable to a certain moment of time for you. This is the same for art journaling.

I love blogging because it delivers a sense of immediacy that appeals to the performer in me. Blogging is a digital performance—the act of baring a personal truth, an art piece, or just a slice of life, with others, sometimes strangers, sometimes not, brings me a certain thrill. If it doesn’t feel thrilling, a tiny bit risky, I usually don’t blog about it. For each of us the thrill will come for different reasons, in different areas. What is risky for me may not feel risky for you. And so it is very much up to you to come up with your own topics to write about. A blog post can be very simple or complex. There is no rule in this department. A blog post might simply be sharing a photograph you took that day and sharing a little caption or small story or sentence that explains it. Other times a blog post might be a highly informative piece that is designed to help and/or inside others learn a specific skill (EG: this post you are reading now.) Some blog posts have taken me 15 minutes to create, others have taken four hours. Neither is better than the other—the beauty of blogging is that it keeps going. We can’t get to hung up on our last blog post, because we are already thinking about our next one! This represents the natural flow of life. We cannot afford to get perfectionistic about our daily practices, they are designed for us to make mistakes, and to learn and grow from them, that is why they are practices. If you think of your blog or your art journaling as a practice and it will help you let go of the inner critic.

Those are the reasons I create these challenges--creativity, connection, personal truth. It is most certainly a challenge to do something everyday with out fail. But it is also very rewarding. 

I can't wait to see what it might do for you!

STAY TUNED FOR JANUARY 2019 ART JOURNALING/BLOGGING CHALLENGE!

Art Journal Lab: Gratitude Practice

In Art Journal Lab last week, the theme was gratitude practice.

I know, I know. Everyone's talking about gratitude these days, and we all know how important it is to feel grateful. But it never can hurt to have a reminder or a structure in how to connect to our gratitude. As much as I know how helpful gratitude is for wellness and happiness--I had never brought this topic to my class. It felt like it was time.

As I was flying back from NYC to Baja, I was aware of feeling a new emotional low--what might be called a period of the dark night of the soul. A time when I have lost connection with my vitality & inner purpose. A time when I feel a lot of self-doubt and anxiety. During these times I am usually not creating as much, and the lack of my music and writing practice has a negative effect on my emotions. My higher self put these practices in place for me because she knew that I am emotionally sensitive and high-energy, and that I need multiple and regular channels in which to express all that is erupting out of me. But sometimes I go through brief periods where I avoid my practices because my inner critic is lurking in those shadows, and I don't want to confront her (or them, as I have a trio of inner critics.)

When all else fails, or is too scary or complex, gratitude practice is an easy and quick way to raise your vibrational frequency, or in other words, for those of you who don't relate to that view of the universe, to feel better.

Here are five types of gratitude that I shared in class:

1) Go To Gratitude - What is easy for you to feel grateful for. This will be different for each of us, but my go to gratitude is my beautiful son Emilio.

2) Bottom Line Gratitude - What may or not be easy for you to feel grateful for, but what is always there, what is essential and what you can connect to in the present moment. EG: Being alive, Health, Spirit or God, Nature, Having a body, or feelings.

3) Self Gratitude - Feeling grateful for your unique gifts. This is helpful when we are feeling low in confidence and are only identifying with our insecurities. We all have unique gifts.

4) Future Gratitude - Connecting with what you are creating in your life, or trying to attract (if you are working on the law of attraction method of magnetizing what you most desire in your life). Imagining that you already have the thing, situation, experience, quality that you are cultivating and then feeling grateful for it. Filling ourselves up with gratitude is the best way for us to attract what we want to bring into our life.

5) Past Gratitude - This perhaps is the hardest one of all, but possibly the most beneficial in terms of being able to transform suffering into meaning. This is one of the exercises we worked on in class. First, through meditation, pick a few moments of your day yesterday that you feel grateful for right now. Really focus on the feeling of gratitude. Where does it live in your body? Imagine it. Breathe into it. Allow it to grow. Then go through your yesterday again, and pick one thing that was a struggle for you. Now see if you can find some gratitude about some aspect of the difficult experience. Did you learn something important about yourself or another? Was there something present that you felt grateful for even though what you were mostly noticing the struggle?

Try these practices yourself. Pick 10-15 minutes where you won't be interrupted. Allow yourself to relax through deep breathing and asking your muscles to relax. Then pick a day or time period that you want to focus your gratitude on and pick one of the above practices. Feel free to share here how it went for you.

State I'm In

“There’s enough songs for people to listen to, if they want to listen to songs. For every man, woman and child on earth, they could be sent, probably, each of them, a hundred songs, and never be repeated. There’s enough songs.... Unless someone’s gonna come along with a pure heart and has something to say. That’s a different story. - Bob Dylan”

Recently I decided that it was time for me to transition from being a closet (or living room) musician to one that shared my music with others. In other words, I am ready to let myself be heard.

I know that this process will be difficult--and it will naturally bring up shame and fear. I will expose myself to more criticism, more opportunities that will make me want to talk myself out of being a musician in the first place. I know I will feel vulnerable, raw, uncertain. I know there will be a lot of people out there who do not necessarily "get" or like my songs, our sound, or my voice. I know also, that people mostly will not care or pay attention anyway. Who cares if yet another person out there puts their music out there? This idea is both comforting and disheartening. After all, as Bob Dylan said, "The world don’t need any more songs… As a matter of fact, if nobody wrote any songs from this day on, the world ain’t gonna suffer for it. Nobody cares. There’s enough songs for people to listen to, if they want to listen to songs. For every man, woman and child on earth, they could be sent, probably, each of them, a hundred songs, and never be repeated. There’s enough songs." And maybe he's right, maybe the world doesn't need any more songs. Maybe. But I do. I need more songs. Not only do I need to write them, but I need to hear them. Songs for me are like moments of emotional contact with the universal human experience. We have infinite experiences in a lifetime, and we need an infinite amount of songs to capture the ineffable. Even though Bob Dylan is one of my heroes, I have to disagree with him here. The world does need songs because I need them, and I am of this world. But then Bob Dylan goes on to say (this quote is taken from the book of interviews called Songwriters on Songwriting) "...Unless someone’s gonna come along with a pure heart and has something to say. That’s a different story".

I am now going to share with you some of the best advice I have received about the process of making music.  These words return to me over and over and use them to get me through the inevitable vulnerability that comes from being an artist of any kind, but a performer in particular.

1) Always sing from your heart, if you sing from your heart, you will always sound good. - Lynn Wedekind, composer, singer, sound healer

2) The process of creating music is channeling. It's not up to you to choose your songs, it comes through you. It's not up to you to judge whether or not it is good. It is up to you to just get it down and then out. - I am not sure where this advice came from. Perhaps from my higher self, or perhaps out of conversations I have had with my friend, collaborator & colleague Holly Mae Haddock.

3) Don't focus on the material, or the audience, just focus on the music and the performance of the music. -- Lucas, my husband.

That being said, I thought I'd share a practice recording that Lucas and I made a few months ago. It's a song that has remained unfinished, for a reason. It's raw, and a lot of is improvised, but I think it captures something about our sound and my mission with music, which is to share an honest expression of the complexity of who I am, and to have a fucking good time while I do it. In a lot of my songs, and other artwork, I try to capture opposites--holding a space in the middle of both negative and positive emotions. There's something about rock-n-roll, especially because I'm a woman and didn't have a lot of female mentors in this arena, that helps me connect with androgyny. The overlapping of the feminine and masculine. I believe this is the secret to all the best rock-n-roll.

Working with the voices inside

Let's face it. It’s hard being an artist. There’s no one out there encouraging you. Telling you the importance of your work. There’s no one there to validate your soul urge that just won’t go away no matter how hard you to try to talk yourself out of it. The Self Police (one of my trio of inner critics) says things like: “You don’t need to put yourself out there.” “Your poetry is far too personal or abstract to mean anything to anyone else.” “It is so narcissistic to write about yourself.”

But lately, when I work on my songs, there’s a newer voice inside, my inner champion, that says: “I love this song! It’s powerful and raw and catchy. I like the way you play guitar. You’ve got rhythm.” And then the natural instinct of the ego is to respond to that encouragement with: “Oh my god! Maybe I really can be a rock star. Maybe people will love my music. Oh, no! How am I going to deal with that?”

Lately, I have been developing a new method of dealing with that ego inflation. There is yet another, wiser voice that knows how to do reality testing, which comes from somewhere in the middle. The middle place is much more vulnerable than the inflated or deflated ego. This new voice of wisdom says: “You have no idea how people will respond to your songs. Yes, it is fucking terrifying to not know. [Yes, my higher self curses.] To put yourself out there not knowing if people will judge you or not, or how they will judge you." It is the most vulnerable thing I can feel. Not knowing. It feels like having no skin. It feels like ripping out your ribcage and exposing your heart. It feels like burning. But, you know what? You don’t have a choice any more, because no matter how hard you try to run away from your messy, inconveniently emotional, unconventional self, you will always need to express who you are, you will continue to need to express all the thoughts and feelings and dreams inside. And without sharing it with others, the artworks become staid. It’s like becoming pregnant but then not giving birth after the 9 months. What happens to the baby that doesn’t see the light of day? It would become the stuff of nightmares. Artworks are gifts, and gifts are meant to be given (with no strings attached). If the gifts don’t circulate, then their value is lost. Giving the gifts increases their value.

This is what has helped to hear most from this more balanced voice of higher self, or middle self:

“If you can’t put your work out there for yourself, then do it for others. Do it for the other people who are even more afraid than you are to make art, and to share it with others. Do it for the voiceless, disenfranchised people who need to witness others' courageous acts of artistic heroism in order to be drawn out of their shells and spells of disempowerment.”

And so, if you are at the precipice of giving artistic birth, and you are trembling with fear, and you think “I cannot do this.” Remember, this is not just about you, this is about all of us. We all need the arts for the survival of the soul. For the evolution of human imagination.

Please share your comments below. I would love to have a conversation about what sharing your artwork feels like to you. Stories? Dreams? Feelings? Thoughts?

Flow on Faith

I’ve been going through a thing. I don’t want to call it a block because it’s not a block, exactly. Block implies to me that you are blank, with no ideas or nowhere to go. What I am experiencing is just a different phase of the creative process. As Lena Dunham’s character Hannah, in Girls says in her unapologetic, yet defensive way, when she is struggling in grad school : “I’m more in a pre-writing phase.”

I am doing research for my story that I am writing. It’s my attempt to make sense of my life up until this point in a way that might teach something about what I have learned about the the path of human development, the spiritual path, the path of the artist. I have written different versions of this story. It was an 8 part blog post. It was a self-revelatory performance art piece in grad school. It’s in the lyrics of my songs, my poetry. It was countless starts of essays and monologues. It was the start of a feature-length script. But none of these quite got at the live wire inside me that needs to be plugged in.

What is the story about? Simple. It’s the story of how I learned to do the things I thought I could not do.

Including, most especially, how to tell my story.

Last month I saw a psychic for the first time. Her name was Althea. She told me that I needed to focus on this writing project, (which will include my songs and will end up as a performance as well as a book or some other art form that hasn’t been invented yet) and that it would be done in two years, and then after that, everything would easily flow out of me. In two years I will be 43. I can wait that long to be plugged into myself. But it will be hard because I tend to be very impatient with the creative process. This is why I teach the creative process—to help me to slow down. To help everyone to slow down. Althea told me what I already knew but absolutely needed to be confirmed by someone who wasn’t me, who didn’t know me, but is gifted in the other kind of knowing. She was. She also said I lived in paradise and that I had finally found peace after many years of suffering. Also true.

And so I see that this is my moment to weave my webs, make my connections, bare my soul. It will be hard. It will be painful. It will challenge me on every level of experience. But I see no choice in the matter. It must be done.

And in the meantime, I am fretting about here, my blog. This space I have created to share my process. To make contact. To check in. To record. To reflect.

I keep wondering how can I keep this up during these times that my words aren’t quite ready to come?  When I don’t have my own words to share. And then I remembered: I can share the words of others. I have been reading & listening voraciously and I love sharing other people’s words when my words are still cooking.

Here is what I have been reading and listening to:

How Should A Person Be? A novel by Sheila Heti
The Art of Asking An audiobook memoir by the artist/musician Amanda Palmer
The Hero Within A Jungian self help book about archetypes and human development by Carol S. Pearson
Handling the Truth a book on writing memoir by Beth Kephart that my dad lent me.
The Life Changing Art of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. A surprisingly inspiring audiobook by a Japanese woman who has made being tidy an art form and has given me new hope for putting my life in order.

Not exactly on purpose, but sort of, I am reading only women writers.

It’s all research. Research for the many ways we can tell our story. Eventually, and possibly quite soon, I will be teaching this to others. This storytelling thing. It’s not a decision. It’s a way of life that I am growing up into. It’s, as Tara Mohr refers to callings, an inner assignment.

Everything I read turns me into a kind of chameleon of voices. I try on different voices which leads me deeper into my own point of view. It is a process of discovering one’s own voice through trying on other's voices. This is what many singers do. There is a whole book about this process called Steal like an Artist by Austin Kleon. I will post quotes from it soon, even if the writer is a man.

What I just learned about chameleons in the terrarium/aquarium basement of the Pittsfield museum where I went last week with my mom and son, is that they are falsely believed to change color in order to hide. But it is not really the reason. They change colors in order to reflect their social intentions or responses to temperature change, in their own reptilian limitations: to express themselves. Trying on others’ voices is my way of figuring out where I stand. It’s the process that happens whether I want it to or not. I am newly embracing my particular processes lately. That is the joy of being an artist—embracing your way of doing things, using instincts to get you where you need to go, and above all, trusting the process.

Something in changed in me about this process of writing recently. I realized that what was missing was my faith. But I had no idea how to get it back. I find faith to be the most important ingredient to art. I lose it and find it constantly. What brought be back to faith this time was a conversation with my husband who, with out training, is a great art coach. I learn a lot from him, rather than the other way around. We decided together that coaching can only be as good as how well you know the other person. Coaching, like therapy, and teaching, and parenting, is a relationship above all else and it must acknowledge the special and unique truths of the individual’s (coachee’s) needs, goals, limitations and gifts.

I started this post thinking I had nothing at all to write. And where do I find myself now? Having written something true about where I am really at. And I will leave you with a quote, as I promised I would deliver one:

This is from A Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell, which I read last summer as primary research for storytelling. I started a few blog posts about it, but never published them. This book is mind-blowingly important for the survival of humanity. I will revisit it over and over. I will share.

“Man in the world of action loses his centering in the principle of eternity if he is anxious for the outcome of his deeds, but resting them and their fruits on the knees of the Living God he is released by them, as a sacrifice, from the bondages of the sea of death. 'Do without attachment the work you have to do… Surrendering all action to Me, with mind intent on the Self, freeing yourself form longing and selfishness, fight—unperturbed by grief.'"

Here, on this blog, I lay the byproducts & fruits of my alchemical experiments, the labor of my gifts, at your knees.

Take them or leave them, either way, destiny is within & without.

Learning to make art is about tuning ourselves to the divine

My therapist once asked me:

"how does the creative spirit work? can you draw a picture of that?"

Above is what I drew, and below is what I wrote a few days later.

We just need to hone and sharpen the instrument through lots and lots of practice, and then get the fuck out of the way. Let the creative spirit pass through. Work in service of the spirit. Have faith that you will be rewarded with its gifts in time, but not according to a pre-designed plan. Enjoy every moment of the service, the labor. Put your full self in. Include the shit. Become a scientist in your devotion to your learning. And also a beginner. Be smart and aware. Don’t take anything for granted.  Let everything count. Take notes. Share what you are doing. And then  keep going. The moment you stop to think about 'the others' is the moment ego comes in and ruins everything. You start projecting yourself into the future, forgetting that the only clue to the future is in the present moment. So get back to work and look inward. Record everything. Ask the hard questions. Don’t rush to answer them. Then get back to work again. If there’s a block, look for another place of flow. Don’t stop, unless you are resting and taking silence or playing or being with others. Don’t stop because the wrong voice inside told you to. Never stop because of that. Stop only because you’ve had enough for the moment. Because you need a break. Have faith  that the creative spirit is always there, inside & outside of you, at anytime. All you need is to drop into the senses. Drop into receptivity. Drop into presence. And you will find all you need. There is never a wrong time to start, or a wrong reason. Just start. If you don’t know what you are doing, fake it. Smile and look in the mirror. Open up the last work you did. Take a walk. Write your future self’s resume and then give yourself the job right now. Don’t think you’re too good or not good enough because whatever you are at this very moment is all you need. Let go of fitting-in and dance in your living room, or look at clouds. This is the best advice you’ll ever get, so you should take it now, take it in slow like it’s the last of your life, and you will remember what you need to remember.

Imagine, for a moment, you believe, to your very core, that who you are, right now, does not need to be improved upon, tweaked, fixed or changed in any way, that you already have and are everything you need.

What would your life be like?

Okay, go ahead and live that life. Fake it till you make it.

Why Creating An Arts Practice is Good For You

For the past three years, I have taught a class called Art Journal Lab in Todos Santos. The goal of the class is to create a safe space for people to write and draw in their journal, and to offer coaching exercises & expressive arts therapy techniques. I try to keep the class open--so that students can explore what is relevant to them, but I also provide structure by bringing in a new theme every week. For the past 20 consecutive weeks, I have brought in a new theme and technique for every class. This certainly has challenged my creativity--always looking for something new and inspiring that could be helpful to my students.

One of the things I recommend to my students is to create their own arts practice. To create a ritualized, and regular activity that awakens their creative flow and engages them more deeply in their life. We have been working on this for the last few weeks. I have been encouraging them to take their time, to explore for a while until they come up with something that ignites their passion. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable pushing people to commit to something, as I believe that each person has their own unique style and pace, and that their commitment needs to come from them, and not necessarily from my recommendation. However, I do believe having an arts practice is a vital part of any creative person's life. I know for myself, when I committed to doing one year of daily blogging (words and image), it changed my life and my relationship to my creativity forever. It helped me to take my passion for creating more seriously, and myself less seriously. It helped me to develop my artistic voice. It helped me to believe in the work I do, and in myself. It helped lift me out of a low level, postpartum depression and into an inspired place of consistent creative flow.

I realized that if I want to encourage people to create their own arts practice that they would need to do know why it's important. Knowing the why of something is very motivating. Here is my "why":

Why do I believe in an arts practice?

Because it’s a structure built into our lives that challenges us to be creative. It helps remind us of the importance of process. It is a built in reminder that our engagement, and the way we engage, is what matters in life. So many of us are trained to overlook or rush the process so that we can get to the result—so we can get to the goodies that come from having a finished product—it can be sold or bought, shown, talked about, appreciated--it becomes proof of our value. I want to return us to valuing the experience of creating. We all could benefit from having a creative practice--it keeps us honest, fresh, child-like in nature. It invites us to keep playing, discovering, asking questions. The moment we give up on the process and instead focus on the result of what we are creating, we cease to be open and relaxed, we lose our sense of humor, our perfectionism takes over and the joy is lost. The good news is that our creativity is always there--it's a flow that can be dropped into whenever we want. We just need to build in a habit that allows us to show up for our creativity regularly--this helps us to let go of the preciousness of art-making. In those moments when we feel alive, and inspired, those are the moments that we want to hold onto. In those moments, we trust that the higher self is speaking for our greatest good--this is the moment we need to commit to an arts practice. Once it is scheduled into our life, we can also find a way to make ourselves accountable--asking a friend, making a public declaration, working with a creativity coach or a therapist.

I care about creativity because I believe that it, along with love, is the greatest human resource. It is the tool that allows us to make the best use of ourselves. Our creativity is a force that works through us. The universe is always creating itself, and we as humans, are the same. It’s just that most of the time we are so distracted by the mind, by the ego’s need to prove its existence, that we don’t always see how every moment is an opportunity to experience life. Nothing creative happens in a vacuum, our creativity is always building upon other experiences and creations. We are drawn to what we love, and what we love is a reflection of something very real in us that has its own driving force.

When we open up to our creativity, both in the personal sense—working through our stories, our conflicts, our dreams—and in the universal sense—working through our humanity, and that which connects us the universe —we engage a deeper reality that is not just of the mind, but includes the body, and soul as well. It is the engagement we are after—-not the end result—it's the experience of feeling our wholeness. The experience of love, newness, beginner’s mind, the experience of play, vulnerability, failure, risk, the experience of being in the mystery, of growth, the experience of our personal, family, or historical legend. We don’t all have to be Artists with a capital A, but we are all are artists in the sense of working with the materials we have, and moving towards that which we love, in how we solve both our daily and deepest problems. Through engaging the truth of who we are, we find art there available to us to help us through.

I recommend creating and committing to an arts practice that is weekly, or preferably daily, that is also do-able and realistic given the current parameters of your life. Try this and you will discover what it is to show up for yourself. Some days you will be inspired and it will be easy. Other days, you will feel like you are forcing yourself into your practice. The point is to keep practicing. It is good for your spirit--it will remind you that the point is not to produce something perfect, the point is to put yourself into your own creative flow and discover much more of who you are. It will humble you. It will keep you in beginner's mind. It will stretch and grow you. It will strengthen you and it will make you see that you are capable of much more than you ever imagined.