I watched him take the black board eraser, dip it in a bucket of muddy water, and then rub it carefully all over the blackboard. He was, in a sense, cleaning the chalkboard--he was erasing chalk with mud.
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This is my to do list for the day.
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In honor of the holiday traveling that I am not doing, that many other people are doing, I wanted to share my first power point art series I made when I lived in New York, two months after Lucas and I started dating.
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When I arrived at the reading my heart started pounding heavily, which is normal for me. There were about twelve or fifteen people sitting at tables. Even though I am a trained actress, I always get nervous before I am to speak in public, as myself. I have learned to live with it, by breathing through it and trying to use it to fuel my fire.
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Because it is an open reading, anyone can read something. The only parameters are that you must read an original work, and you must keep it at five minutes or less. This week, after four years of putting it off, I decided that it was time for me to read something. I guess I was just ready.
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Do you ever have the feeling that you’re doing something no one’s ever done before? It’s a frightening feeling, even though it's the mind thinks it’s impossible. It’s the feeling of falling. But it’s also a fast and low feeling, like driving a motor boat or a car. A feeling that splits open the ego and lets the heart shine. I have that feeling now. And then suddenly, it’s gone. I waver somewhere between velocity and fear.
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There is something to be said for peeing under the stars. Where the crickets can see you. I can hear them now with their staccato siren call. A surround sound symphony easing me into night.
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Don’t let the bastards get you down, my little one.
Be strong, and bring forth the parts you know to be true.
For if you do not, you will have not lived the life you were blessed with.
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We have reached the first quarter of the year, and every day I feel more and more inspired. I feel like I climbing slowly into the creative flow that I always dreamed of, but never had the discipline to make happen.
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Anytime my activity at hand is seen by Emilio, not as something getting in the the way of my attention towards him, but rather something he can be part of, is a step in the right direction. It means that I can have a life other than being his mom that he can witness. It makes our relationship more mutual.
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27 signs that my inner kid is still very much alive
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I have come to believe, as the Taoists do, that in life, all things and thoughts have an opposite that is equally true. Nature is predicated on the balance between opposites: birth/death, light/dark, creation/destruction, and so on. If we ignore one half of a dichotomy or judge it, then we are not balanced, we are not allowing ourselves to the see and experience the whole and natural truth. As it is said: “you can’t have one with out the other.”
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I am sharing here, in honor of completing the 31 Day Art Journaling/Blogging Challenge, my second to last post from my first blog, ZOELAB 365, where I blogged every day for a year. This is the learning and meaning I made from that intense year, which catapulted me out of post-partem depression and into a highly-charged creative inner life that has informed me, and my professional work, ever since.
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It came to me a few years ago. The idea for a clothing line that was so local it was named after the area code.
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1) Decide that you want to be a fashion designer, or at least learn to sew your own clothes, even though you don’t believe you can because you don’t have the patience.
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